


Not again

by shieldbearer



Series: Shame on you, Steve. Forever yours [2]
Category: Captain America, Hawkeye-Fandom
Genre: Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha trapped inside the body of an Omega, Alpha/Omega, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Clint Barton, Omega Verse, Pain, Sad Clint, Sharing a Bed, dream - Freeform, non-consensual bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-15 20:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10557408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shieldbearer/pseuds/shieldbearer
Summary: Clint - an Omega with the mindset of an Alpha - was just bonded to Steve against his will. This is how the archer experiences the night and the morning one week after the non-consensual mating.





	

**Author's Note:**

> As always, right away the warning: English isn’t my mother tongue. I’m sorry for mistakes. I promise to do my best to avoid them.
> 
> It was fun but not easy to write about characters with such ambiguous feelings and behaviors. Dunno how often I've rewritten this oneshot and hope that I've finally found the right mixture of love and hate, understanding and incomprehension.. Let me know :)

_Breathing heavily, Hawkeye and Captain America faced each other. The Super Soldier with a concerned look; the archer with a slight maniac smile playing on his lips. Both of them wore their complete BDU and were covered in traces of the ongoing fight from head to toe._

_“Clint, we don’t have to do this..” The younger man only rolled his eyes, didn’t give up his fighting stance and continued aiming with his recurve bow and a trick arrow at the Captain who held his famous shield protectively in front of his body. “Sure, but you also wouldn’t have needed to..” The archer couldn’t finish. Only thanks to his excellent reflexes and agility, he could avoid a crash with the Captain’s shield. Disbelieving, he stared at the man who had thrown it. “Is this your way to don’t have to hear what you’ve done to me?” Steve averted his eyes and Clint went on reproachfully: “A blow to my head could have killed me! That’s the second time you’re trying to do this. All right, you asked for it..” With a slightly pain-contorted face, he reached for one of his pockets in his BDU. His movements were slowly as his arm was injured as Steve had hit him with his shield and had caused a gaping wound. Fortunately, he hadn’t been hit with full force; otherwise, he would have lost his arm. On the other side, it would have been the lesser evil considering the fact that the Captain had actually aimed for his neck and could have easily decapitated him. Smiling maliciously, Clint took a vial that contained a blue serum. The Captain had no idea what was in store for him._

_The world started to spin around Clint, the surrounding distorted, and the dark blond felt how his extremities grew till he loomed large in front of the soldier who didn’t understand what was going on. The archer’s head was high in the bright sky. A moment, he needed to catch his breath and find orientation. He simply never got used to the process of enlargement. Turning around carefully to don’t smash innocent by accident, he looked down to the ground which was far, far away. It took him some time till he found what he was searching for: There! There was the coward running! Without hesitation, he bowed down and wiped the Super Soldier with a single move off of his feet. Steve screamed in surprise and horror. At the last moment, he rolled to the side when Clint clenched his fist and let it whiz down on him. The earth quaked and was crossed by cracks. The attacked ran for his life but was lifted by his collar of his uniform. Helpless, he dangled in the air, kicked his legs and tugged on his collar as it was choking him. He had already black dots in front of his eyes when he was flipped around and tossed on a soft ground. Still, the impact was painful and expelled the last remains of air out of his lungs. Before he could understand what was going on, a huge pair of eyes approached him. They were blue with a speckle of gray in it. Steve knew this beautiful mixture just too well. The way smaller versions of them were the eyes of… “Clint!” He yelled in surprise, checked his surrounding again, and realized finally that he was sitting on Clint’s hand which had the size of a… “Giant!” Again, the Captain had spoken out loud his thoughts. His confusion if he had turned mysteriously into ant-size or if the marksman somehow had turned into a colossus cleared immediately when Clint answered: “I prefer Goliath, but yes, I guess that name would fit too.” The archer spoke with a normal voice but due to his immense size, it was extremely loud. Even for someone who wasn’t a Super Soldier with enhanced senses, it would have been hardly bearable. Agonized, Steve pressed his hands on his ringing ears and screamed against the voice of his colleague: “Clint, please stop it!” Scoffingly, Clint laughed outright. “Why? Does it make you feel uncomfortable?” The words had exactly the effect they should have. Being cut to the quick, the Captain looked away. It wasn’t long ago when he had asked Clint the same question and hadn’t had mercy with him. So he couldn’t expect that from Clint now. He stood up with wobbly legs, tried his best to not fall as the ground or better said Clint’s hand was moving slightly, looked up, and whispered: “But how..?” He didn’t manage to end his question. Never had he felt so powerless, small, and fragile since the time before he had transformed into a muscleman. Clint’s smile broadened even more. But it wasn’t friendly at all. It was mean, insidious, and scornful. It defaced his usually so relaxed features. „I told you my true nature is anything but weak.“ With those words, he pulled his hand away on which Steve was standing. The rug was literally pulled out from under the soldier. He was whirled through the air and crashed unbraked on the earth. Only at the very last moment, he managed to put his vibranium shield between his body and the ground to dampen the clash. He rolled off his right shoulder and kept lying on the ground for a couple of seconds to catch his breath. But he better shouldn’t have done that. When it was almost too late, he realized how the fist came closer again and smashed him almost like a pesky mosquito. Just because he had the advantage of being faster and nimbler than the – thanks to his enormous size – ponderous Clint, Goliath, or whatever his colleague had turned into, he could save himself. That was a close call. One inch and he.._

_However, he didn’t emerge completely unscathed: the impact of the fist made the Captain whirl high through the air as if he was just a leaf in the wind till he plummeted three meters further afar down and landed on a car that now had the Captain’s shape imprinted on the smashed metal. Steve’s grown was drowned by the sound of the shrill car alarm. He was sore all over. Thankfully, he had accelerated healing abilities and an enhanced durability. Otherwise, he never would have survived this hell that had broken loose. Blood ran out of his mouth and mixed with the blood that gushed out of a laceration on his forehead. He had lost his helmet and had hit his head against the blacktop when he had slid the car down being dizzy in his head. His maltreated body was covered in bruises and dirt. All in all, it was a pitiful sight, but it didn’t cool off the wrath of Hawkeye – Excuse me: Goliath._

_Steve crawled on his stomach away. But Clint lifted him simply with two fingers into the air. The blood rushed into Steve’s head and colored it in an unhealthy looking dark red. Clint held him higher so that he hung in front of his face. Fearfully, the soldier stared at him – or what he was able to see. The dimensions of the archer were too big to capture the total picture. He couldn’t help thinking about what Loki once had said: “An ant has no quarrel with a boot”. If Clint was thinking about it, too? However, instead of asking him that, he mouthed only silently once more: “How?” The giant giggled. His whole body was shaken by doing so and so was Steve who pressed again his hands against his ears to cover them. When the archer calmed down, he said only two words: “Pym Particles.” Then, he swirled him around. The air whooshed by and the Captain didn’t know up from down anymore. He got quite sick and would have bet his beloved shield that he had a whiplash by now. But Clint was relentless and the cruel carousel got faster and faster till it stopped abruptly. The piercing pain caused by Clint’s grip around his legs disappeared and Steve had the impression that he could fly. Well, actually that was what he did. Clint had let go of him and as a result, he was flung through the air - house facades speeding past him. There was no time to worry about where he would land. With a loud splash, he breached the water surface and sank. Panicky, he tried to figure out where the surface was to reach it._

_The problem was solved for him when he was dragged out of the river by an almost truck-sized hand. However, Steve wasn’t saved. This was just the beginning and he was well aware of it. Tormented, he coughed, spat out water, and gasped for air. It didn’t impress Clint who only said: “I’m not finished with you yet!” Steve looked up. Pure fear in his eyes. “Please, stop it. I can’t..” “You can’t what? You were designed for it, you know, for fighting and stuff..” Goliath raised a brow and looked provocatively at the soldier who knew exactly that it was an allusion to something he had said to Clint not long ago when the archer had told him he wouldn’t be able to endure it. Still, he beseeched his colleague to stop the pure madness._

_Clint laughed scornfully but joylessness mixed into it. “Well, I’ve been at the exact point as you are now. I’ve begged you to stop, too. And? Did you?” The Captain swallowed and lowered his head guiltily. “Did you?” yelled Clint. “N..n..n..” Steve cleared his voice and started anew: “No.” A single tear found its way out of his left eye, caught in his long, full lashes, and dropped finally down on his cheek where it left a wet trace. “Well, then you know what I’m up to do with you. I’ll do what you’ve done to me: I’m gonna take your life.”_

_His voice echoed still over the place when he shrank back into normal size with the help of a red colored serum. He wanted to see what would happen next in close-up. Wanted to see the anguish, despair, and the knowledge of being defeated in his former friend’s eyes. He wanted him to experience him how it felt to have lost control over the own life just like Steve had let him live through it._

_The Captain lay on his back and didn’t look like a Super Soldier at all anymore. His breath was too quick and his eyes widened in fear. He didn’t dare to stand up when Clint approached him with a grim, hell-bent expression and stony features. Metal flashed in the sun and Steve watched how Clint held his dagger with one hand high into the air, ready to stab him. It was only a split second. But for the subdued man, it was like in slow motion when he saw the blade coming closer to his heart. Time seemed to stay still for the archer, who was about to kill his former colleague, as well when the tip of his “Darted Slicer”, as he called his favorite dagger, touched Steve’s chest._

* * *

 

Bathed in sweat, Clint started up. His heart raced and his left hand which was clenched into a tight fist as if it was holding a dagger was shaking uncontrolled. Slowly, he opened it, ran his hand over his face, and let himself fall back into the sheets. Still, he gasped for air and couldn’t explain himself why he had had such a disturbing dream. Why the hell did he want to kill his friend?! Pondering, he turned around and dragged his blanket over his naked body. Wait! First of all, why the hell was he naked? He used to sleep in boxers. And second, when and how did his small bed turn into a king-sized one? Where the hell was he and what was going on?

Gradually, it seeped into his dozy mind. Pictures appeared which he rather would have never remembered again. Pictures in which Steve bowed down to him, touched him, kissed him, bonded him. Unasked. Aghast, Clint reached for the area where his mind showed him to have been bitten by the Alpha. To his misery, there was really a bitemark. So this hadn’t been just a bad, vivid nightmare. Tears welled up in his eyes and he remembered that this – having dreams full of violent actions against Steve, waking up and having forgotten the reason for such cruel fantasies - repeated since one week. Since the night Steve had mated him against his will. Apparently, his mind wanted to protect him from the devastating truth of being bonded and blocked out the traumatic event. Unfortunately, he wore a sign of this night on his skin that kept remembering him about it.

He would have given a lot to disappear. But as he couldn’t, he curled into a little ball instead and tried to go on following his second favorite activity after archery: sleeping. But as much as he wanted, he couldn’t. This wasn’t his bed. It was Steve’s. He had insisted on Clint sleeping in his bed from now on as he belonged to him now.

The faint scent of the Alpha reached Clint’s nostrils when he wrapped the blanket tighter around his trembling body. Concentrating on it, it seemed to get more intensive and made him a little bit weak. He was extremely relieved that he just went through a heat cycle so that his body couldn’t build up a new one immediately. It had to regenerate first. Otherwise, this scent surely would have triggered a heat cycle. And he wouldn’t have managed another one. Wouldn’t have been able to endure once more how Steve..

_Steve came back and found his Omega standing under the shower. Clint’s legs were shaking and he supported his body by leaning against the flagging. However, this sight of his Omega didn’t really concern him. He surely was just exhausted of their first heat round or the next one was already evolving._

_Silently, and without being noticed by the showering man, Steve approached him but stopped dead in tracks. He had already reached with his right hand for Clint’s shoulder to turn him around as he was facing the wall. But he froze, his hand hovering in the air and his blissful smile slipping him off his lips. Into the rushing and splashing the water caused mixed sobs. They were silent as if they were suppressed but still, they were undeniable there. Steve let his hand sink and went a step back to look again at his mate who pressed himself into a corner, clenched the shower’s slide bar, and had buried his head in his other arm. The Alpha was aghast. He had misinterpreted the whole scenery. This wasn’t the posture of someone who was just tired. This was the body language of a broken man. It hurt Steve to see Clint crying like this and he knew that the proud archer would have never shared such a private moment with him if he would have known of his presence._

_Full of sympathy, Steve’s eyes watered and he was torn if he better should leave the Omega alone or if he should try to comfort him. The later could be quite difficult as he was the reason for Clint’s misery. Well, actually he was unaware of any wrongdoing. He had mated the Omega. That was what Alphas did. But his friend didn’t want to hear that. He had wished him to hell and made clear that the bonding was not okay. Steve frowned. An Omega shouldn’t talk to an Alpha like this. And as he was his Alpha now, he had to take care for him whether he liked it or not, right? Still, he hesitated._

_The decision was made for him when Clint uttered a loud and furious scream without a warning. It could have meant: “Not again!” but it was too slurred to be assured of it. His slumped body reared up and he almost ripped the slide bar from the bolting before he let loose, pressed his hands on his belly and collapsed. Shocked, Steve ran to his Omega, hugged him carefully and whispered into his hair: “Everything is alright, Clint! I’m here!”_

_Clint who was shaken by the waves of pain, which were the harbingers for the second round of his heat cycle, turned his head and looked Steve straight in the eye. Although he felt the complete opposite, he managed to say: “Everything_ had been _alright_ before _you were here.” He emphasized the words that indicated the past and was about to go on accusing his partner.. – No, not partner. Friend? No, Steve wasn’t his friend anymore. Mate? Technically right, but gosh no! So what was left? Alpha. Yes, Steve was an Alpha. So he was about accusing the Alpha when the fire inside him flamed up again and mixed together with the pain into a devastating conflagration. Tormented, Clint squinched his eyes, screamed in agony – but only silently because he didn’t want Steve to notice how much it hurt him -, clasped desperately his belly and pressed his other hand against his back. The heat spread out and had reached his kidneys. It caused a drawing pain there, whilst his guts seemed to be corroded by acid. Every time, the archer thought it couldn’t get worse, he was proofed wrong. Stars danced in front of his eyes. He wheezed and didn’t manage to suppress his cries of pain anymore._

_This was enough for the Alpha. Being angry about him or not, he couldn’t watch any longer how his Omega went through the purgatory. Clint needed him! Cautiously, he lifted Clint up without any troubles as if he was light as a feather and carried him into his bedroom while he whispered soothingly reassuring things at him. Extremely carefully, he placed the feverish archer on the mattress. The Omega curled immediately into a fetal position and opened it only to kick the blanket off, which Steve had pulled caringly over him, with the outcry: “Too hot, too hot!” His breath became shallow and his eyes glassy. Alluringly, Omega pheromones wafted through the small room. In a reflex, Steve ripped off the T-Shirt from his body and was about joining Clint. But before he could do so, Clint had rolled down the bed and pressed his naked body against the floor to cool himself._

_A smile crossed Steve’s face. The archer was so stubborn and unbelievable strong. He was facing heat again, apparently even worse than before, he was in a room with an Alpha, and instead of jumping on him, he preferred to suffer. Suffer.. Steve’s smile was wiped off of his face and replaced by a doleful expression. Clint just behaved like this because he still blamed him for having made the wrong decision. Okay, there hadn’t passed a lot of time since they had mated to change this opinion but somehow he had hoped that Clint would accept it when he couldn’t change it anymore. Apparently, his hopes were too naïve. Despite belonging to him now, the Omega still rejected him and decided to endure the pain instead letting him being helped by his Alpha. Clint’s behavior caused doubts to creep slowly into Steve’s mind. Doubts if it had been right to act driven by pure instincts, and doubts who of them really was in the right. They could have been a happy little family but – if Clint was right – he, the stupid Alpha, had to ruin it by letting himself lure in by Clint’s scent and behave like a savage. If Steve was honest, he couldn’t remember the past events completely. He felt how his thoughts were blurred again by the Omega’s pheromones and gritted his teeth. This time not! Not again._

_Back then, when he still had believed Clint to be an Alpha, he had already felt butterflies in his tummy and had gotten weak knees by the sight of the athletic man or when he had heard his beautiful, unique voice. He had loved it when they had trained close combat as he could get really close to Clint and had always smiled like a maniac when someone only mentioned his name. Short: he had fallen in love with the earth’s mightiest marksman. He just had never had enough courage to let him know. An Alpha with an Alpha.. That was simply.. No.. He had cursed the fact that apparently there was still something Omega-like in his system that made him desire Clint. This was the only logical explanation Steve could come up with for his unnatural longing for mating with another Alpha. He had started to avoid Clint. Had searched for an Omega he could mate. Had even prayed that his feelings for Clint might stop. But it hadn’t changed anything. He loved Clint till today. And as he turned out to be an Omega who just had pretended to be an Alpha, his desire for him wasn’t forbidden anymore. As if God had heard his prayers. It was simply perfect. Only Clint hated him now. And thinking longer about it, he couldn’t blame him. He hadn’t been really gentle. On the other hand, wasn’t that the way Alphas behaved? That they were severe with the Omega and made the decisions as the weak gender wouldn’t survive without them? At least, it used to be like this when he was young. Clint had been an unbonded Omega. He had needed an Alpha and he was willing to be it. They knew each other very well, they liked and respected each other, they already had been kind of a family before he had bitten him, so he couldn’t understand what was wrong about the bonding itself. In the 1920ties Omegas had been given away to rich Alphas they had never met before. That was cruel. But Clint and he weren’t strangers. They were a team and sometimes he had the impression that there was even more between the two of them. So all in all, his action couldn’t have been that wrong, right?_

_A tormented whimper tore him from his thoughts. Clint rolled on the floor. Beads of sweat dripped down his forehead. Suddenly, he started speaking with very slurred voice but the anger was still hearable in it: “What the hell are you waiting for? Do you like it when I’m in pain?” The last word almost disappeared in a groan he made and it took him a couple of seconds till he could go on: “Stop staring at me and fuck me already!” Steve turned into a pillar of salt. Clint had asked him for having intercourse with him! But unfortunately, he knew just too well that the archer hadn’t asked him by choice and that it was only a necessary evil for him to overcome his heat._

_“You don’t want me?” At this point, the Omega’s bad condition made it difficult for him to speak. Despite it, he still went on: “Well you should have considered that before you..” Again he interrupted himself with a scream of pain. His whole body was shaken by countless tremors that ran through it. Desperate, he felt around to find something to shove up his ass. He needed to be filled. Not finding anything, he simply took his fingers and didn’t waste a second thinking about it what a pathetic, humiliating sight he made. The heat and the pain grew. For a minute, everything went black. Fear possessed him. Maybe this was the effect Omegas always were warned about to not take suppressants. It always was said that after discontinuing the drugs the heat could get so devastating that it could kill the unlucky Omega. Frightened cold pushed for a moment the fire aside. He didn’t want to die. Not like this. He was a fighter, so he always had been sure that he would die a heroic death during a battle and not leave the world in such a humiliating way. Before he could change his opinion, he opened his mouth and begged: “Please Steve, don’t let me die.” A bitter taste stayed in his mouth. He hated it being so dependent on his owner but the fire inside him burned like gasoline and no one could extinguish it. No one but one: Steve, his Alpha._

_Steve heard Clint whine and was in a single bound next to him. Quickly, he lifted him back on the king-sized bed, took his pale head in his hands, had to shake him slightly to get the archer’s attention back, who was dragged away by his heat, and said soothingly but insistently: “You will not die. Do you hear me? I’m not gonna let this happen!”_

_Not wanting to repeat the same mistake and simply “fuck the shit out of Clint”, he fought against his Alpha instincts and forced himself to take it slow and to care solely for his Omega’s needs. He really loved his boyfriend and hadn’t mated him just because he was an Omega. Maybe he could prove it this way. So he bowed down and kissed Clint’s belly softly._

_The thus treated lifted irritated his head. Something in his mind tried to tell him that the Alpha wanted to be nice but that… “That’s not what I need right now, Steve!” Feebly, he tugged on the soldier’s hair. Staggered, Steve looked up, blushed and stuttered: “But, but I thought I… You…” Despite the pain and his anger about him, Clint smiled about Steve’s insecurity. “You don’t know a lot about heat, having sex, and stuff, right?” Steve blushed even more and nodded. Clint convulsed again in pain and wanted to finally get it on, but there was one more question he had: “Have I been the first one?” The question hung in the air till Steve nodded again tentatively. He didn’t know what to think. One moment, Clint was clearly afraid of dying, the next he shot the breeze with him about his non-existing sex life. The soldier looked unconfident up to his mate who had a smile playing on his lips when he noted sarcastically: “Great. Then we both don’t know a lot. But we still have our instincts. My instinct is telling me to get fucked. What’s yours saying?” Steve’s head turned red by Clint’s choice of words, but in the end, he wanted the same – he just would express it less vulgar: “I’d like to sleep with you.” Clint grinned: “Well, then get it on already.” He splayed his legs. With big eyes, Steve stared first at Clint’s “invitation” and then into his eyes. Again, he stammered: “B..B..But you said I shall not let myself overcome by my instincts. You don’t want me. You..” Annoyed, Clint interrupted him. He felt that the short pause of pain, which he had used for this conversation, would soon be over. The next heat wave was developing. “For God’s sake, Steve! What’s wrong with you? The first time you also did what you wanted and didn’t give a shit about the fact that I begged you to don’t do it. But it’s not about what I want anymore. This point in time is long gone. It’s about what I need; no matter if I like it or not. I have the feeling heat is stronger than ever before. Don’t know if I’m gonna survive this. With your help maybe. But if you don’t want to, leave me. I don’t want you to watch my last minutes, okay?”_

_Steve realized how much will it cost the proud archer to ask him for help but apparently fear was a good incentive to do so._

_Finally, he moved, place himself behind Clint but hesitated a second. The archer realized it and shook his head. When the soldier had claimed him, he had behaved like his owner and now he was like an insecure kid that was afraid of doing something wrong. Annoyed, he ordered: “Just let it go, Steve!” It sounded like he was the Alpha instead of the Omega in this relationship, and he couldn’t believe that he encouraged Steve to fuck him. But as mentioned before: he really needed it. The thus addressed took a deep breath, inhaled the Omega’s pheromones, and allowed himself to let his instincts take over just like the first time with the only difference that he still tried to take better care for his Omega and being less egoistic. Carefully, he entered the waiting man beneath him and started to move._

Clint’s memory blurred. Heat had flamed up again and had blown all his rationality aside. His head had felt like being filled with cotton candy. Therefore, there wasn’t much left to remember. The only thing that stayed was the bitter knowledge of having animated the Alpha to take him. Back then, it had appeared to be the right thing to do. It even had felt like he was in tune with him. Like they had been emotionally connected. But now, Clint felt only shame for behaving like this and couldn’t understand himself how he could consider the Alpha, who had simply claimed him without letting him a choice, to be a nice person.

Silently, hot tears streamed down the unhappy Omega’s face and stained the sheet with dark circles. Bringing back to mind what had been done to him, that he had been kind of enslaved by the Alpha made him feel sick again. However, if he left aside how they had become a couple and thought only about the other times they had spent together to overcome his heat, he had to admit, that he had liked it partly. With every round, Steve had tried to be much more caring than the first time. Maybe he had realized that he had treated him the wrong way. The Alpha had been inexperienced and had been definitely driven by his instincts. But could this make up for having sex against his will? For bonding him without his consent? No, somehow Clint didn’t want to accept it as an excuse. At least, he as a weak Omega had managed to have himself under control under the same prerequisites. So shouldn’t have a strong Alpha been able to do this too? A little spark of hate inflamed inside Clint and expelled the tender feelings he started to have for Steve.

The only positive finding of the whole situation was that at least his first heat after the suppressing pills hadn’t been as devastating as he had feared it to be. Omegas were often warned of the effects; that they would have to go through incredible agony; that they still might die even if an Alpha took pity on them and shared heat with them. Okay, he had been afraid that this might happen. But as soon as Steve had taken care for him it had been blown away. The torments of hell had turned into normal heat-pain. No sign of having to bite the dust. So apparently, this also had just been a cock-and-bull story, invented by Alphas who wanted scare Omegas away of taking such drugs.

Trying to remember more, only what had happened after their second round came into Clint’s mind: _Steve stood up and he watched it with mixed feelings, believing that the soldier would leave him alone just like he had done the first time. But the blond returned with an ice pack and placed it on the archer’s jaw. “I noticed that you have problems with kissing.” Clint was already about to comment this statement sarcastically with the words: “Oh, I’m not good enough for the great Captain America. I am soo sorry.” But Steve was quicker: “It’s because I.. I hit you, right?” He had punched Clint very hard during their first round and felt miserable for having done it. Actually, he couldn’t explain himself what had driven him to do that. Clint didn’t answer, so Steve went on: “I am really sorry for that.” He made an unassertive hand movement. The whole situation and the following silence were quite awkward. Finally, Clint scowled: “You’re sorry for that? Do you think I can’t take a hit?” He crossed his arms angrily. Steve raised his hands placatingly. “I dislocated your jaw. That..” “That’s okay,” dismissed Clint the topic as beside the point. “You know what is way worse? Dislocating my life. And I’ll never be able to push it back into the right position.” At one go, he sat bolt upright in bed, took angrily the ice pack and smashed it against the wall. “You could have given me this before, you know, to cool off my heat! But no, the Alpha had to fuck me instead!” Steve was dumbfounded. “But you asked me to..” “To fuck me, Steve. Fuck. Say it! It’s just a word. F-U-C-K.” Annoyed, he rolled his eyes about the Captain and his weird language problem. Then, he continued: “Yes, I did. But I wasn’t thinking straight. As if I ever would ask you by choice.” The “you” was like spitting it out. Steve noticed how rage grew inside him. How dared the Omega to speak to him like this? He tried to be nice to him – what he didn’t need to be as his Alpha – and still, he was so ungrateful to him. He stormed out of the room and slammed the door shut before he would hurt Clint again._

Clint sighed and tried to push this unpleasant memory aside. Maybe he had gone too far with this. He was just so confused and neither did he have a clue what to feel nor what to do. On one hand, he liked Steve, on the other hand, he would love to strangle him, stab him, beat the shit out of him, or do whatever would make him suffer. He simply couldn’t love a man who had treated him like shit, although he now behaved like he was truly sorry for it. That wouldn’t undo it.

Again, he inhaled Steve’s strong scent and noticed an old aftershave that surely had been in vogue during the second world war. It was the strongest note, though not too obtrusive. In it mixed other fragrances like iron. Clint halted. Iron? He sniffed again. No doubt: iron or another kind of metal. Maybe from his shield. And leather which was surely caused by the boxing gloves Steve used for his daily training. All those single scents were held together by another one. But no matter how hard Clint tried to figure out what it was, he couldn’t. It simply was… _Steve_.

His head started getting dizzy and he decided that it would be better to stop inhaling the Alpha’s scent. Sure, he was kind of used to it, as he had worked together with him for quite a while in which he had learned to not get influenced by it. In an emergency, when he had been weak – as he called his time short before he could take pills to suppress his heat – he simply had distanced himself till it was over. But now, that he was bonded to Steve, it seemed like his protective barrier didn’t work anymore. He was attracted by his scent and wished for a moment that Steve would lay down next to him, take him in his arms, and..

Hearing the toilet flushing brought him back to reality. He pricked his ears. The bathroom door opened. Light filled the room slightly. Clint grew stiff. His wish for Steve seemed to come true quicker than expected. Dammit. He had made a decision: Although his weak body had the desire to have the Alpha by his side, he wouldn’t give in. He would stay partnerless, regardless of wearing the bitemark of an Alpha upon him already.

Not long, and he noticed how the blanket was lifted, how the mattress sank under the weight of the athletic man and how strong arms wrapped carefully around his upper body. Through the chest of the other man behind him, he felt the strong and regular heartbeat against his back. No compare to his own that seemed to want to win a race. He knew that the way Steve held him was meant to be tender, but he would describe it as rather possessive. At least, he never had been asked if he wanted it, or not. When Steve dragged him even closer and let his left hand slide soothingly over his arm, the archer grew even stiffer. His hair stood on end and his first reflex was to slap the hand away. He had already tightened his muscles but stopped himself from doing so the last minute being not keen on starting another fight with Steve. His cheek still hurt from getting punched and that had happened after all already about one week ago. He wouldn’t have stood a chance against the Super Soldier anyway. No, leading a fight against Steve with pure muscle mass would lead to nothing. So he had to win it by using his wits and being savvy. Maybe the Alpha would let off of him if he could convince him that he was sound asleep. However, he was as stiff as a poker. If he really would have slept, his body would have been completely relaxed and the Captain was well aware of it. He sighed: “One day you will accept it.” Then, he moved away from him on his side of the mattress, whispering: “And then you will understand my actions.”

Clint was extremely relieved about it. Not only because he couldn’t bear the closeness of the Alpha, but also because he wouldn’t have been able to hold his breath any longer. If he wouldn’t have done that, Steve would have been able to feel his chest going up and down irregularly in a way it just did, when he was crying. He didn’t want to show any weakness and let his owner know that he wept. He couldn’t even explain himself why he was crying. Sure the situation was quite shitty and desperate, but when he wanted something he had always found a possibility. So why shouldn’t he find a way out this time?

When Steve rolled on his side, he panted for breath. Unfortunately, a sob escaped his lips which he gulped back quickly. But of course, Steve had heard it. Dammit, apparently all Gods were against him since a couple of days. Why the hell did he have to behave like a sissy? The mattress moved and Steve came back to him. Annoyed about himself, Clint rolled his eyes, quickly dried the tears and forced a smile on his face. Not a moment too soon: Steve bowed over him, took carefully his head in his hands and asked: “Is everything alright, darling?” Wouldn’t Clint have been in such a bad mood, he would have burst into laughter. _Darling_. What the fuck?! Seriously, Steve? But he had other problems right now than to complain about an awful pet name.

Steve tried to see something but it was too dark. So he could only make out the outlines of Clint. No details. “Sure, I’ve just been raped, bonded against my will, and gotten the most unimaginative pet name ever. But yeah, everything is fucking all right! What should possibly be wrong?” Of course, Clint didn’t speak his mind aloud. He only thought this with a very sarcastic tone in his mind, before he assured: “Yeah.” His answer was short and his failing voice made it even for a dull-witted idiot obvious that this wasn’t true. But Steve wasn’t a complete emotional oaf and realized that he better should let it go for now. Still, he had something on his mind: “I’m sorry, Clint.” It sounded lame and Steve was well aware of it. However, he wanted to apologize and hadn’t expected that the younger man would misconceive it and ask furiously: “That you are stuck with me? That you didn’t think twice and got yourself a better Omega?” Steve interjected: “No! You know what I mean..” A deep frown wrinkle showed on his forehead. Wearily, he ran his hand over his face and rubbed his tired eyes. How often had he tried to explain his behavior and excuse during the last days? Countless times. He didn’t regret that it had come to them being a couple, just the way it had happened. Quite quickly, he had realized that it hadn’t been right to claim the Omega against his will, although he had the law on his side. He simply hadn’t known it better. In his day, when he had been himself an Omega before he had turned into the Alpha known as Captain America, it had been done just like this. Back then, he hadn’t wanted to accept being coupled with an Alpha and had found a way out: the Super Soldier serum. But now, over seventy decades later, he had demanded from Clint to accept exactly that. Steve shook his head. He couldn’t understand what had come over him to behave like one of those people he had used to fear and hate himself. The only explanation he had, was that he, as an Alpha, had the strong longing to protect his Omega and if the Omega didn’t realize what was good for him, he had to show it to him. Unfortunately, Clint didn’t want to know anything about all those considerations. He had always been rather withdrawn but since the incident with the bitemark he hadn’t any access to him at all anymore. The archer stared with unseeing eyes into space, refused to eat, cried secretly, what the red and swollen eyes disclosed, and erupted in anger whenever he tried to talk to him.

Although it was pointless, Steve explained for the umpteenth time: „No, I’m not sorry that we are mates now, but for the way I’ve made you my Omega. I guess I was overwhelmed by my instincts and..” The abused Omega didn’t listen anymore. If Steve preferred to resort to excuses than admit his fault, alright..

Somewhere deep in his mind, he knew Steve was telling the truth, but he wasn’t ready for it at the moment. It was easier to hate Steve than to admit that the whole mess was the result of his stupid idea of being able to lead a life among Alphas pretending to be one himself.

Steve dragged gently the blanket over Clint who snarled at him that he wasn’t a goddamned baby that couldn’t take care of himself and would need help for such things. For a moment, the buff built man had to laugh about Clint's stubbornness that caused the archer to kick the blanket defiantly away, only to pull it over him by himself, behaving now exactly like a little kid he claimed not to be. But then he sighed again deeply and turned back on his side.

Half an hour later, deep, regular breaths signalized Clint, that the Alpha was asleep. Unfortunately, Clint wasn’t that lucky. No matter how much he tried, he simply couldn’t relax enough. So he stayed awake the whole night.

Extremely tired, but still not able to sleep, he watched how a thin sunray wandered through the room and slowly filled it more and more with light. He felt absolutely whacked and had dark circles underneath his eyes. A heavy arm on his chest made it hard for him to breathe. It had happened during the night. While sleeping, the Alpha had wrapped his strong arm around him and hadn’t given him free since that moment.

Lifting up his head, he looked at this “thing” on his upper body and had suddenly an idea. Very slowly, like in slow-motion, he reached for the pillow under his head and dragged it from there to his side. For a moment, when Clint held the pillow in his hands, he pondered if he should simply suffocate the Alpha. Then, all his problems would be solved. Okay, this was a little bit too optimistic, he had to be on the run, and.. On the run! Yes, this was the solution. He would take a flight and proof the Alpha that he could live without him. Seeing the expression on Steve’s face when he had to admit that Clint didn’t need him would be a better revenge than killing him. He grinned slyly. Then, he went on replacing himself with the pillow and rolled himself slowly out of the bed. The floor beneath his feet creaked. Alarmed, he stopped dead in tracks. It needed all his courage to turn around and check if it had made Steve wake up. But the soldier was still in the realms of dreams. So the archer sneaked on tiptoes to his clothing, dressed up, searching for quite a while his right shoe, found to his happiness his dagger that Steve had taken away by doing so, pocketed it, and went out of the door. If he would have known before how easy it was to escape, he would have done it long before. Sure, Omegas weren’t allowed to simply leave without the permission of an Alpha, but having an Alpha mindset, he could easily overcome this forbiddance. He was a little bit angry about himself, though, that he hadn’t considered this possibility before he had accepted with a heavy heart that he had to live from now on together with Steve, but anyway: better late than never.

Despite he simply could go now, he still hesitated for a moment. It was said that it could kill an Omega if he somehow managed to run away and broke off contact with his Alpha. But the same had been said about taking suppressants which hadn’t caused his death. Quite the contrary, it had helped him staying alive. As well, as the discontinuing of the pills hadn’t killed him either. So why should the claim that Omegas couldn’t live without their Alphas be true when everything that was said about Omegas turned out to be lies? He had to risk it. Without looking back, he left the Avengers Tower and had only one thought in mind: _“Freedom, here I come!”_

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, first of all: Thanks for reading! :)  
> Next time, we gonna learn more about Clint’s past and Steve’s attempts to apologize. Moreover, we will get insights into Clint’s and Steve’s thoughts about all this mess. Maybe there will be also some reactions of the other Avengers. But as it isn’t written yet, I can’t promise it.  
> I would be happy to see you at the next oneshot again :) So long..


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